Basic principles christian dating dating chat now

We end up with detailed rules drawn from principles that were drawn from still other principles.

Good suggestions and wise advice for many circumstances become cast in stone as rules for all situations.

As teachers, we need to be careful to remind our listeners and readers how much is just suggestions, advice, and hopefully, good ideas.

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However, we must remember that what is taught today as courtship and/or betrothal are the ideas and creations of men.

These men are drawing upon Biblical principles, practices of the past, their own experiences, and whatever wisdom they have from God. There are many Christian parents who know first hand the shortcomings of dating and who are anxious to learn about a better way for their children.

The young woman's father may be deceased, she may even be an orphan. The other family involved may not hold to exactly the same courtship process as you do. The two families have been friends and together in church for years. There may be little need to "get to know one another" beyond a very few very serious discussions.

Or her father may be an unbeliever who refuses to play any role in courtship. Perhaps one set of parents only wants to be minimally involved. They may quickly be ready to proceed to betrothal/engagement. The young man and woman may have never even met each other. Even the parents may only have third hand information about each others family.

In the early 1970s, Bill Gothard was teaching principles of dating that were forerunners of todays courtship teachings.

Jonathan Lindvall, influenced by Gothards teachings, began teaching what he called courtship as an alternative to dating (later began teaching betrothal as a better/improved alternative).

I believe it is a mistake to make long lists of rules of what to do and not to do in this matter.

There are many good ideas, advice and practical examples that can be given, but these should not be taken as rules!

There are just too many situations, too many variables!

Guiding principles work, long lists of rules do not.

They are more flexible for dealing with the unanticipated.

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