In a cruel twist of fate, my husband's death coincided with the three-year anniversary of my mother's death. Before most of my friends were married, I was already widowed -- not to mention, partially orphaned.So while my pals were busy planning weddings or preparing to have kids, I was setting up a scholarship fund in my husband's memory and trying to figure out what to do with his clothes.
The plight of a Toronto widow who lost hundreds of thousands of dollars and her home in a dating scam has prompted police to urge vigilance online.
Police say the woman, whose name has not been released, is a former municipal employee who first made contact with the suspect or suspects in the case on social media. Ian Nichol of the Toronto police financial crimes unit says the woman eventually realized she’d been had.
They tend to be more senior but it’s not that they don’t have their wits about them — they usually do — but they have a vulnerability.”Some 748 Canadians — most of them in their mid-40s to late 50s — lost more than $17 million to online dating scams last year, according to the RCMP.
Some have been cheated out of more than $100,000, the force has said.
While all widows experience a tremendous amount of grief, young widows encounter social complications that make the experience particularly isolating.
Well-meaning people would say things like, "Well, you don't look like a widow." Even friends that I saw on a regular basis, would say things like, "Oh, I expected you to look different." It was as if people thought widowhood would transform me into an old hag. I wore my wedding ring for years -- partially because I didn't want potential suitors to think I was back on the market, but mostly because it just felt right. I knew none of them wanted to see me suffer and they couldn't do anything to lessen the pain.But that ring on my finger led to plenty of awkward conversations. Sometimes -- plenty of times -- people said the "wrong" thing.At large social gatherings people asked questions like, "What does your husband do for work? " I dreaded the look on their face when I explained I was a widow. They'd unintentionally offer words that hurt more than they helped.I'd occasionally meet elderly widows -- my grandmother's friends mostly.Many of them would offer condolences and words of empathy like, "I know just what you're going through." And while I'm sure losing a spouse after 50-plus years of marriage is heart-wrenching, I'd secretly feel envious that they got to grow old together.He says they used the names of real FBI and UN employees and provided fake news releases and court documents to bolster their lies.