All of that said, I do want you to think about this: You can't start to do something "sooner," but you have the power to change today and tomorrow right now!
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In other words, with the exception of perhaps yelling out the wrong name at an inopportune moment, what on earth could you possibly do "wrong"?
It truly doesn't matter if you have slept with only your husband or if you have slept with more than one man in your lifetime; the fact remains that the first time with someone new is indeed the "first time." It is a time of delight and discovery, each of the other.
In one form or another, regardless of whether we had a huge wedding or a "just the two of us" ceremony, and whatever our particular religious affiliation, every single one of us said, in one way or another: "till death do us part." In short, dear friends, you upheld your end of the bargain.
Death has parted you and your husband, therefore, there is no cheating going on here. These words continue to hold true here, at possibly one of the most important times of your life.
You are instead and hopefully taking your time getting to know somebody absolutely wonderful before taking such an important step.
As to doing something "wrong," be assured that there aren't many variations on this wonderfully delightful theme.There is no "right" or "wrong." There is only the two of you getting to know one another in a most loving way.You're absolutely right—when you become older, physical intimacy isn't the same.The following is an example of “fits and starts” from a recent letter I received:“I have been dating a widower for the past two years. He says they were very happy and everyone I meet tells me how wonderful she was.Initially, he dove right into the relationship and we seemed to be the perfect match.Here, we excerpt a chapter of the book where she addresses one of the most common topics widows struggle with: getting intimate with someone new after a loved one passes.